Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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