My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
