very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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