Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
