Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
