i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize