so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
