porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
