Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
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