forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
