do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
