told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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