is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
