i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
