Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
