It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
