she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
