I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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