I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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