69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
