Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
