Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
