i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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