I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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