Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
