I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Sorry about my life...
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
