Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
