He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
