census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
