i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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