i just google imaged poop.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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