HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
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