No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
