i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
