the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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