sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
