if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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