The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
