She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
