I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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