Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize