I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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