Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
sex in a hospital.. check
I could fuck to npr.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
