it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
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