I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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