you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
