Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Randomize
