yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
