HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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