the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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