I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize