I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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