I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
