is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
