GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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