I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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