If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
