Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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