you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
