dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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