The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize