im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
