Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
