This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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