Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I want to be your penis for a week.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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