that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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